Departing as Unclaimed - Angelina Leaños

Inspired by Mai Der Vang’s “Arriving as Lost”

There is no defense for how they will

Fail you, all but one of your sons and

Daughters absent when the gangrene

Spreads and leaves you bed-ridden in

The hospital where you will die alone

On the eve of a new year. There’s no

Forgiveness I ask on their behalves

When they skip your funeral but pray

For ownership of your home | land |

Your live body will be too stubborn

To pass down. There’s no closure your

Family will find for the wound of your

Wake, only the sutures these words

Will attempt to create as each sibling

Drifts apart in their arguments. No

Essay of sorries I can write to make

Up for the years I offer nothing to

You | foreign tongue I cannot bring

Myself to hold within my mouth

Until I am the age my youngest tío

Is when we attend your funeral | 19 |

Poems I’ve birthed in your name and

Still more as I court this grief. There

Will be nothing more to prove you

Were ever here, no trickle of your

Name outside of the nights when

My tíos and abuelo are too drunk

And regretful to keep the memories

Tucked between their teeth, save for

This river of poems to carry into your

Deathland, and when your children

Fight over who should inherit your life,

I will know the answer

I will bring you home.

Angelina Leaños (she/her) is a Ventura County Youth Poet Laureate emerita and a second-year MFA student at Fresno State. Angelina regularly serves as a Poetry Out Loud coach and a Poet-Teacher, mentoring youth in poetry recitation and creative writing. Additionally, Angelina is a member of California Poets in the Schools’ Board of Directors and was a reader for the 2023 Philip Levine Prize. Her work has been published by Urban Word, Flowersong Press, the Chicanx Writers & Artists Association, Arkana, Fruitslice and others. You can find her on Instagram at @angelinaleanos.